Friday, April 18, 2014

Confessions.... the day before the half marathon

Time to do some confessions... & I may have to focus on my race tomorrow & confess some of my thoughts about it today... let my blog be my therapist today...

~ I'm scared to death.  I don't normally get scared about a race, but I'm scared. & I hate that I'm scared.
no no no no no... this kind of thinking has to stop

~ I think I'm having flashbacks to the race last year where I woke up & my back pain was so severe that I couldn't do the race... so now, I'm nervous that my back is going to pull a sit-in-protest again on me.  I've trained all these weeks with back pain... what's one more day - right?

~ I hate saying "race"... To me, it will NEVER be a race.  I'm not that good or fast. 

~ I keep doubting myself... but have to remember I did train (except the last 2 weeks) & I did get up to 10 miles.. I should be prepared... right?

I really need to snap out of it!!!

~My upper lip has been twitching like crazy since yesterday.  I refuse to look it up on WebMD so I don't feel like I've gone some sort of horrible disease.  But I think its my nerves kicking in.  I know anxiety causes a LOT of 'twitches'

~ I will say, I'm excited about the race expo today. I'm on the hunt for some Honey Stinger products, & a contraption that holds my cell phone while I run - preferably a hand held one.  I've only seen one in the back of running magazines to order.  Even Amazon doesn't have the one I'm wanting. 

~ Also hoping they have KT Tape people at the expo ... I may get in line to have them tap my back.  I am good at taping my knee, but my back?  It always pops off when its on the low back.  I need to know their trick.

~ I have the worst sore throat now & am freaking out thinking I'm getting sick on top of EVERYTHING ELSE... really?

~ I think you all can tell how honestly crazy this half marathon is making me... I've NEVER been like this before...

~ I saw a preview of the medal online ( just a small glimpse)... what is it about a medal that makes me willing to put my body in extreme pain just to hang it on my wall?

~ I have to do a practice for a skit only 3 hours after the race... where I have to toss a young lady across the stage & jump & move dramatically... last time we practiced, I was so sore in my obliques from all the moving sideways over & over... doing this practice for 3 hours after a half marathon?  I may be checking myself in the hospital after the skit is performed (twice) on Easter...

I'll say this to everyone during practice on Saturday :)

~ I'm taking money for a massage after the race

~ The one good thing about being slow & near the back, hopefully the massage table lines will be short.

~ I want to not focus on time... I want to just focus on surviving (I make it sound like I'm being chased by a lion or something), making it to the end, as pain free as possible... however, whatever that looks like

~ I need to remind myself to "stick with the plan" - I have a tendency to have a pace planned & then get all caught up in the atmosphere & take out too quick & am dead by mile 10... I can't do that this time.

~ I usually like to start in the middle of the pack.  I think I'm going to start near the back - that way, I'm not being passed so much at the beginning, draining my emotional side of "I'm such a loser"... & just get used to being at the back of the pack. 

~ I need to remember that no matter what happens, its not life or death... its just another day, its just another run... it doesn't define me...

Wish me luck!!!


  1. Best of luck!! I know you are going to do great, I just know it!

    Honey Stinger gels are the best - try the acai pomegranate (sp?) if you haven't yet. It's seriously delish!

  2. I'll be crossing my fingers for you that you get through this race pain free! Just remember, it just about finishing (safely). I love honey stinger waffles!

  3. I wished I had got on my computer earlier to see your post and wish you luck:) I hope you were able to have a great race, and I hope your back didn't cause you any problems!!! Look forward to hearing how it went!


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