Time to do some confessions... & I may have to focus on my race tomorrow & confess some of my thoughts about it today... let my blog be my therapist today...
~ I'm scared to death. I don't normally get scared about a race, but I'm scared. & I hate that I'm scared.
|no no no no no... this kind of thinking has to stop|
~ I think I'm having flashbacks to the race last year where I woke up & my back pain was so severe that I couldn't do the race... so now, I'm nervous that my back is going to pull a sit-in-protest again on me. I've trained all these weeks with back pain... what's one more day - right?
~ I hate saying "race"... To me, it will NEVER be a race. I'm not that good or fast.
~ I keep doubting myself... but have to remember I did train (except the last 2 weeks) & I did get up to 10 miles.. I should be prepared... right?
|I really need to snap out of it!!!|
~My upper lip has been twitching like crazy since yesterday. I refuse to look it up on WebMD so I don't feel like I've gone some sort of horrible disease. But I think its my nerves kicking in. I know anxiety causes a LOT of 'twitches'
~ I will say, I'm excited about the race expo today. I'm on the hunt for some Honey Stinger products, & a contraption that holds my cell phone while I run - preferably a hand held one. I've only seen one in the back of running magazines to order. Even Amazon doesn't have the one I'm wanting.
~ Also hoping they have KT Tape people at the expo ... I may get in line to have them tap my back. I am good at taping my knee, but my back? It always pops off when its on the low back. I need to know their trick.
~ I have the worst sore throat now & am freaking out thinking I'm getting sick on top of EVERYTHING ELSE... really?
~ I think you all can tell how honestly crazy this half marathon is making me... I've NEVER been like this before...
~ I saw a preview of the medal online ( just a small glimpse)... what is it about a medal that makes me willing to put my body in extreme pain just to hang it on my wall?
~ I have to do a practice for a skit only 3 hours after the race... where I have to toss a young lady across the stage & jump & move dramatically... last time we practiced, I was so sore in my obliques from all the moving sideways over & over... doing this practice for 3 hours after a half marathon? I may be checking myself in the hospital after the skit is performed (twice) on Easter...
|I'll say this to everyone during practice on Saturday :)|
~ I'm taking money for a massage after the race
~ The one good thing about being slow & near the back, hopefully the massage table lines will be short.
~ I want to not focus on time... I want to just focus on surviving (I make it sound like I'm being chased by a lion or something), making it to the end, as pain free as possible... however, whatever that looks like
~ I need to remind myself to "stick with the plan" - I have a tendency to have a pace planned & then get all caught up in the atmosphere & take out too quick & am dead by mile 10... I can't do that this time.
~ I usually like to start in the middle of the pack. I think I'm going to start near the back - that way, I'm not being passed so much at the beginning, draining my emotional side of "I'm such a loser"... & just get used to being at the back of the pack.
~ I need to remember that no matter what happens, its not life or death... its just another day, its just another run... it doesn't define me...
Wish me luck!!!