the race I've been excited to do all year....
& I'm sitting here still not sure if I'm doing it.
I still sound like Darth Vadar. I still can't lean my head down without liquid pouring out of my nose. I still can't walk up a flight of stairs without gasping for air & coughing up what really does look like part of my lung. I still can't talk without coughing. AND I still can't open my eyes all the way without getting a headache & having my face pound into my gums.
All of that sounds like good times, right?
UGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Just the timing of it.
I get so torn up about it thinking I'll do it anyways, even if I have a fever.
& then my sweet friend Kristen who is also doing the race said in an email, if you aren't feeling good, don't make it worse for a silly race.
That made me feel so much better.
I take these races like they are something that REALLY matters ... or as something that almost gives me real WORTH in this world....
when really, its just a race....
its just another thing.
Kristen may have just sent me a quick reply with a quick answer, but it really eased my heart about the race.
I'm going down to pick up my race packet today, with the hopes I wake up in the morning & I feel fantastic... I'll settle for even 'half way decent'
but if I wake up & can't breath & I'm feeling that weak, shaky feeling still, then I'll watch the race on local TV & I'll make a warm cup of green tea & I'll just keep PRESSING ON to the next thing I set out to do...
I'll still be me...
a girl who tries her best.
Clearly you are not well enough to race. But then again, maybe getting out to pick up your packet will turn things around for you and you will trick yourself into feeling better. I do that all the time. When i'm sick of being sick, I get out and start doing things. I "pretend" I am better in hopes of tricking my body..lol. Sometimes it's just to easy to lay around and let the sickness overwhelm us. I feel for ya and whatever decision you make is the best one for YOU at this time. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteWhile I hope you can make it to the race, there's really no point in getting sicker. Rest up tonight, get a good night's sleep and just see how you feel in the morning. Word on the street is that Prince Charles is going to be there. ;) And if you feel like you're missing out on the free banana and Gatorade, just come on down and stroll the route. Good luck and feel better!
ReplyDeletehaha - I saw Prince Charles & Camilla going down the expressway when I went to pick up my packet :) ... & funny you said "Stroll"... my hubs told me that if I wanted, we would just hold hands & skip & stroll the street :)
DeleteWAIT WHAT PRINCE CHARLES IS GOING TO BE THERE WHAT.
ReplyDeleteI don't even like him. WHY CAN'T KATE COME.
gah.
I'm glad i could help out girl - because once i was sick before a race and I was kicking myself and so mad that i was going to miss it, and a friend said the exact same thing to me. is this race really really worth your health? who is putting the pressure on you to do it? it is OK to miss it. not a big deal. there'll be another one (papa johns 10 miler vomit). email me in the morning though ok, so i know whether to keep a lookout for you!