It's about a girl who was overweight her whole life & how she realized her problems & got control over her life.
She's talking about being a teenager & how no boy will ever want to date her, how miserable she is shopping because no clothes fit her, how uncomfortable she is going to places & fitting in chairs & being in crowds... Just how miserable life is in general.
... & then she says her weight...
& I'm like DEAR SWEET LORD....
I'm 2 lbs heavier.
& don't bring up the subject of height. I'm actually 1 inch SHORTER then her. So I'm shorter & heaver ( 1 inch - 2 lbs)
.... I sat & stared at those words over & over again - probably for 5 minutes.
She was making her life sound so miserable that I was envisioning someone at 300 lbs or bigger - someone that you see on TLC with that show, "My 600 lb life"...
But she's me.
Would it be strange to say that I literally couldn't breath for a minute & my eyes started tearing up.
Yes, I know I'm at my heaviest right now.
Yes, I know I have a hard time finding clothes that fit just like I like.
Yes, I know I hate pictures of me from certain angles because of my round face.
But I didn't feel like I was miserable... until I read this girl being miserable... at my weight.
& then I felt really miserable.
Reality just sucker punched me... hard
I then thought of all the things I've been feeling wrong about my body lately.
My joints hurt more.
This side pain won't heal up.
My clothes are feeling so snug & uncomfortable lately.
I get breathless a lot faster.
I can't hardly run anymore.
My low back pain & knee pain...
All of this would SURELY be better with less weight on me.
Now, this isn't a post that says I wanted to slink into a corner & never come out... though I did have about a 30 second pity party...
but it immediately made me think the opposite.
My life needs to change.
I realize now more then ever that my eating habits need to change.
My life habits need to change.
I need to really focus more on my health.
Granted - I feel like I am more keenly aware of food & nutrition then most people. But I will say, I also know my metabolism is pretty much junk & hates me. That just means I have to make MORE changes. Fight a little harder.
I'm fired up to do just that....
I'm not even sure how that's going to work yet. What sort of plan I need. What sort of changes I need to fully incorporate.
Maybe its just a few small changes at a time. Maybe its a full life haul. I don't know.
I'm really going to read about some things, take note of things, pray about it.
I just know I don't like being sucker punched... I don't want it to happen again.
I never want to read a story of someone who is miserable because they are fat... only to find out they are smaller then me...