Numbers....A goal

Numbers...

I work with them all day long doing accounting.

I look at them through my camera figuring out aperture & shutter speeds.

I add & subtract from my check book & balance them to a statement every month.

I count them off every year as I gain another number onto my age.

& I see the number on a scale that doesn't seem to budge.

Numbers are useful... but numbers can be stupid.

They can make me in a better mood & encourage me... they can also put me in the worst mood you would ever want someone to be in.

But numbers are needed to be kept in check.

If a number gets off in accounting, I have to see where the problem is.
If a number is off in photography, it can ruin a whole picture.
If a number is off in my check book, I could have people calling about funds I owe.
If a number is off on my age, its only because I'm lying...

& that number on the scale... it's never off...

I mean, it's off to what I want it to be... but it tells the truth.

& the truth is ugly sometimes.

I took off weighing in last week due to all the sadness & grief & not giving a rat's patooty about what I ate... but this week, I got on the scale... & it was what I expected.

I gained 1.5 lbs from 2 weeks before.

Not as bad as I thought... but a gain nonetheless.

A gain that keeps coming.

Those numbers again. 

Since the age goes up, the scale goes up.  It's a dirty game life has sometimes.

But looking at that number today, I realized that I found my number I want to set as a goal.  What I want to get to. 

I won't get into details because I'm not that girl who proudly & boldly says what they weight & doesn't let it bother them.

I'm the one who hides the scale from my husband & is embarrassed for him to find out what my weight is.

But I can say, I want to loose 40 lbs.... bam!  There's my new number.

I will do a weekly weigh in... keep myself accountable some way here.  Attest to why it went up or why it went down...(please Lord)....

This may bite me in my butt.

If I gain next week. that means my goal may go up to 41, 42, 43 lbs... oh geez...

So hopefully, I just have 40....

I'm not even setting a certain time - like the end of the year - though that would be nice...

I just want 40 lbs gone...

to start... we'll change that number once I get there...

goals are good to have.