I work with them all day long doing accounting.
I look at them through my camera figuring out aperture & shutter speeds.
I add & subtract from my check book & balance them to a statement every month.
I count them off every year as I gain another number onto my age.
& I see the number on a scale that doesn't seem to budge.
Numbers are useful... but numbers can be stupid.
They can make me in a better mood & encourage me... they can also put me in the worst mood you would ever want someone to be in.
But numbers are needed to be kept in check.
If a number gets off in accounting, I have to see where the problem is.
If a number is off in photography, it can ruin a whole picture.
If a number is off in my check book, I could have people calling about funds I owe.
If a number is off on my age, its only because I'm lying...
& that number on the scale... it's never off...
I mean, it's off to what I want it to be... but it tells the truth.
& the truth is ugly sometimes.
I took off weighing in last week due to all the sadness & grief & not giving a rat's patooty about what I ate... but this week, I got on the scale... & it was what I expected.
I gained 1.5 lbs from 2 weeks before.
Not as bad as I thought... but a gain nonetheless.
A gain that keeps coming.
Those numbers again.
Since the age goes up, the scale goes up. It's a dirty game life has sometimes.
But looking at that number today, I realized that I found my number I want to set as a goal. What I want to get to.
I won't get into details because I'm not that girl who proudly & boldly says what they weight & doesn't let it bother them.
I'm the one who hides the scale from my husband & is embarrassed for him to find out what my weight is.
But I can say, I want to loose 40 lbs.... bam! There's my new number.
I will do a weekly weigh in... keep myself accountable some way here. Attest to why it went up or why it went down...(please Lord)....
This may bite me in my butt.
If I gain next week. that means my goal may go up to 41, 42, 43 lbs... oh geez...
So hopefully, I just have 40....
I'm not even setting a certain time - like the end of the year - though that would be nice...
I just want 40 lbs gone...
to start... we'll change that number once I get there...
goals are good to have.