{Dear Diary} Jeans

Dear Diary,

Today I want to talk to you about jeans. 

Who doesn't love jeans?  Everyone wears them... even little babies look adorable in jeans.

Jeans hold a memory for me though.

Back in the 80's when I was high school, they didn't make cute jeans for plus size gals.  Not unless you wanted them to look like something your grandmother or crazy aunt wore.  (I can use crazy aunt because I now am that aunt... AND that grandmother)

Nope... as a teenager, it was awful finding jeans.  That's when pegged jeans were in.  Ahh... the 80's.  Aqua net.  Blue eye shadow.  Acid wash.  Pegged jeans.

I found one pair of jeans that fit me in the waist, but the bottom looked awful. Nothing any 'cool' person would wear.  So my mom took me to a seamstress & had the bottom taken in.

I looked like a real teenager.

But I guarded those jeans with my life. It was all I had.  I had to figure out how to wear them to their best potential.  Spread them out throughout the week.  No one wants to see a girl wear the same jeans every day of the week. 

Thank goodness I liked skirts... & skirts could be a teenage thing.

But wear one pair of jeans over & over & they wear thin.

I'll never forget I was a Senior & almost at the end of the year & my jeans got a hole in the knees.  I went to a school where you could wear nothing with holes in them.  I was sent to the office to do something about it.  Luckily, the counselor told me to just tape a bandana I had in my hair around it & not to wear them again....

... not to wear them again...

no jeans...

I will say, these babies were like manna from heaven.  They lasted through the whole 4 years of high school.  School days - weekends - hanging out with friends.  They had to have magic in those seams to stay together as much as I wore them.

But I had to finish the year without cool jeans.

without any jeans at all.

To this day, I still have issues with jeans.  I only have 5 pairs to my name.  I only usually wear 2.

one that fits more tight... for when you feel good about yourself.

The other?  My fat jeans.  The ones you put on to be comfy in. The ones that are loose  & you can put on when PMS hits & you feel bloated & don't want anything tight around your stomach.

Lately, those jeans have been feeling like my tight ones.

The tight ones?  Even TIGHTER... #laydowntozip #cantbreath

I don't want to have to go get new jeans... I feel like if I do, I'll have to look back into the jeans that I dreaded wearing in high school... the ones that aren't cool... the ones that take me back to high school. 

I refuse to buy anything other then cool jeans again.

Sincerely,
The girl who just wants to wear yoga pants from now on


PS.  If you ever see me wearing pajama jeans... just shoot me.