Doing what works for me... even if you dont see it...

Warning:  honest post ahead!

The past weekend, I got to see some familiar faces -faces of people that I love.

One of those people I love - she has been dropping weight like Kanye drops a rude interruption on people. 

She has been taking those hormone drops that have been all the rage.  They are working for her.  She has been shedding the weight like sweat dripping off of my back during a hard work out.

& that right there is where the honesty starts coming out.

She's shedding weight like its nothing... & I'm the one dripping sweat & having to fight food addictions & muddling through.

I'm fighting & balancing food & struggling & while I am loosing weight, its slow... & no where near the numbers she's dropping.

Internal screaming happened a lot while listening to her explain how these drops were working for her & to watch everyone just sit around & talk about how they need to get their hands on these drops & try it for themselves.

All the people are looking at her & googling & oohing & aahhing on her & saying how good she looks & asking her how she feels.

She's just like, "it just takes away cravings for food"

... that's it...

ask me what I'm doing & I'll tell you how I have to balance proteins & carbs & am limited to an amount of food during a day & working my butt off at least 30 minutes a day with one day off for rest.

If I were to tell people what I'm doing, do you think they would have that same instinct to run out & get some work out clothes & little colored containers & want to start on it instantly?  ... yeah... me either

And then I see she's eating... normal foods... there's even cake around.

& I'm coming to this place drinking a protein shake so I will be semi-full & not WANT a piece of cake.

I know 12 lbs isn't much & probably not even that noticeable... but it just frustrated me so much.   How easy it can be for others.... & how hard I have to work for the smallest of results.

I don't mean this to sound like a whiney post - just like I said, an honest one.

I just keep trying to think that I'm doing what I need to do for me.

I mean, I wouldn't take those hormone drops for anything in the world anyways. No offense to anyone who has or is doing them.  Truly.  For me, I don't trust them. They don't seem natural to me - even if people say that they ARE natural.  But I'm the person who doesn't even like to take an aspirin must less take something that is supposed to curb my appetite.  I'm too much of a naturalist for that.

& I know my progress is slower... but I'm making lifestyle changes.  I'm learning how to adjust to this long term.  I'm learning to be healthy inside & out.

So I will admit, I left that place feeling really down on myself & frustrated... but the more I thought about it, the more my mind eased up & the more I actually became proud of me.

I truly am happy for this person who has lost all her weight too... I'm sure she has her moments & her own struggles in certain areas....its all about cheering others on!

So today, if you see others & you feel frustrated & aggravated at your own progress, remember you have to do you... only you... what only works for you.

And I'll be doing me... slowly & surely....

Confessions

 

I haven't confess anything lately

... time to clear the air...

 

I CONFESS:

 

... we haven't turned on our A/C yet in the house.  Working out in the house when its 89 degrees outside?  I feel like maybe I could do Hot Yoga.  Talk about a sweat-fest.

 

always gotta love Mama June's wisdom

 

... I kicked Harvey Dent in the face doing Les Mills this week - he walked right in when I did a back kick & BAM!  Right to the nose.  He just sat & shook his head & looked at me like, "What did I do wrong?"... poor baby.

 

... good to know my back kick is effective.

 

... All my Cadbury Eggs are officially now gone.  I don't know how I feel about that.  Glad I don't have the temptation anymore... sad that I don't get the creamy goodness until next year.

 

Farewell my friends

 

... I cut the back yard for the Hubs yesterday... AFTER I did a workout.  Let's just say I think I almost died.  I so wish I was joking on this.  I got to dizzy & nauseated about half way through the yard but refused to stop.  It would be awful to have on my obituary, "Death by Lawn Cutting"

 

... I tried to find a Les Mills Combat class anywhere around me.  Apparently its not a big thing because ... crickets... nothing. I WANT A CLASS!  I need people to love kicking & punching as much as I do!!!

 

... why can't I get out of the grocery without spending at LEAST $100.00? ... for 2 people... & that's usually with me or Ricky having to stop at the grocery during the week to still pick up a few items. 

 

Me in the grocery

 

... Speaking of which, I don't get why healthier food is so expensive.  It's no wonder our country is in an obesity high.

 

... I've got an eye doctor's appointment tomorrow afternoon.  My eyes are getting worse with every passing year.  I always heard that your eyes get bad between 40 - 50 year old & then they stop changing until you're in your REAL later years... At the rate my eyes are changing, by the time I'm 50, I'm going to be basically blind.

 

... I have a love / hate relationship with Mother's Day.  Love to celebrate my momma & all the awesome moms out there... hate it for the women who feel "less then" during the day.  Society is messed up.  You're a man & don't have kids - no problem - no questions asked.   You're a woman with no kids & everyone gives you either the "sad pity face" - the "What's wrong with you?" face or the "what kind of woman are you?" face... good times.

 

 

... I am trying to do very little today... just counting down till the weekend!!!!

What's on your mind today?

Confessions...

I haven't done any confessions in awhile. 

 

It'll be good for my brain to clear it before I go on vacation....

 

I Confess....

... I got my email for volunteering on tomorrow's half marathon.  I have to be there at 7:15... wow... that's early... I haven't ran a race in so long, I forgot how early these babies start.  Especially because the sun doesn't even rise here until after 7:30. 

... I am excited about vacation but bummed... we were supposed to go out of town - to Gatlinburg - but my husband hurt his leg & he had to take time off work, causing him not to be able to take the whole week off with me.  Sucks. I was looking forward to going to Gatlinburg in the fall. I haven't been there in about 5 years.

... I am looking forward to sleeping.

... Heartburn is kicking my butt lately.  I think I have ate a whole bottle of Tums. I don't know what caused it to spur up all of a sudden.

... I'm nearing the end of my photo season & looking forward to the break.

... I can't believe the holidays are closing in.

... The time change is next week.  Let me warn you - I get so depressed when it changes.  Being dark by 5:30?  I just want to slink away into a hole until Spring.

... At least I get an additional hour on vacation. #bonus

... My 19th wedding anniversary is Tuesday... I have no idea what to get my husband.

... My dogs are going to be so happy we're not going to Gatlinburg & I'll be home a lot this week.

... It's going to be 80 degrees this weekend.  Fall & warm weather?  Just give me a book & sit me a chair outside... I'll stay there all day.

... I still want to go see Gone Girl.

... I get freaked out thinking about my coworkers coming in my office while I'm gone. #nosy

... Ebola still has me freaked out to no end.

... I want to have pictures done with me & my husband... I'm always the one behind the camera. We've been together for 22 years & we've never had our pictures professionally taken.  I may have to do a tripod / timer session.

So guys, I may be in & out next week... wish me luck on a great time off work!

 

YAHOO!!

 

Good luck to all my running friends doing races this weekend!

Confessions

Let's get some things off of my chest... out of my mind...

 

I confess....

... I want to make a new CONFESSIONS button... this one looks too plain to me now.

... I actually typed "plane" in that last confession & then realized I'm loosing my freaking mind

... I am so excited Biggest Loser starts back tonight!!! But what's the deal with Bob. He's not going to be a regular trainer?  #disappointing   Dolvett is still there. That's good. & who is that dreamy new trainer?  None other then Jake, from The Bachelor's, brother... good genes run in the family.

... I think the new girl trainer looks like the girl from The Office & Bridesmaids, Ellie Kemper...

... I finally got some ringtones on my new phone.  KISS for when my husband calls me & Steven Curtis Chapman for when anyone else calls.  I couldn't find any good Disney ringtones.  I need to find a good free place.

... I don't even care about the new iPhone. I'm an Android girl.

... I up'ed my weights in P90X arms & shoulders last night. Felt proud of myself, until I was nearly in tears with my bicep tendon last night.  & then had to hear my hubs yell at me all night long about how I should know better. 

... I am addicted to the song "All About That Bass"

... I am wearing thin quickly on Taylor Swift's new song, Shake it off... why is it EVERYWHERE?  On every commercial - on every promo for DWTS - on every click of the computer.  STOP IT!

... I went to visit our new office that we're moving to in November.  Its not only an extra 15 minute drive, but I'm loosing my own office & moving into a cubicle... & the office looks like a dungeon with no light in it.  To say I am depressed is not even close to how I feel lately.

This is going to be me in my new office space

 

... I bought another jar of Nutella.  Someone needs to throw it out of my house QUICK!

... I can remember September 11th, 2001 like it was yesterday.  We sat in our waiting area in front of the TV the whole day.  No work was done. Just sat with eyes wide & jaws dropped.  So sad.

... It freaks me out when I talk to the kids in the Youth Group & they have no memories or really know very little about that day.  The next generation really doesn't have a clue what happened.

Confessions

Since its Wednesday, its feels funny doing an Up/Down post about the weekend, so we'll just incorporate it into a confession sort of day... feels about right...

I confess....

... I'm getting nervous that my Peach Green Tea Lemonades are soon going to disappear.  Why are they bringing pumpkin in early when they brought in Peach late?  #Notfair

... I thought Guardians of the Galaxy was going to be stupid. It's probably in my top favorite movies.  That was a surprise out of no where.

... I never thought I would love a speaking tree #groot

... Zoe Saldana's body is ridiculous... even when its green

... I snuck in 2 drinks from a restaurant into the movies in a purse. I was walking like I was 103 years old so they wouldn't spill. 

... I about gasped when we ate Q-doba & I logged in my food on My Fitness Pal & saw it was 1200 calories. SAY WHAT?!??!

... I GOT A NEW PHONE!!! The Samsung Galaxy S5 ... the latest & newest phone. I feel pretty special.

... I actually haven't been able to use it yet, thanks to T-Mobile.  We have been with them since 2001 & they wouldn't give us any deals on new phones & when we said we wanted to go to Verizon, they were going to charge us $150.00 ... I told my husband getting a new phone is like getting a new car.  All of it makes me want to punch someone.

... I'm more excited about the camera on my phone then any other feature. #photographer

... I got to do 2 Senior session in one this weekend. They are a couple that has been dating for 2 years.  At first, I was thinking it was a bad idea to do pictures together.  These are your senior pictures.  You want pictures of someone who, let's be honest, probably won't be your spouse?  But both of their families came along & they all were really supportive.  I'm rooting for these two. They are really precious together....

... it was supposed to be raining on us all day during the session, but it turned out being a perfect day. I love when that happens.  Thank you Mother Nature.

... both of these kids are hunters.  They rescheduled their original photo session because it was supposed to be on the opening day of deer season.  I had to do everything I could to hold my tongue on my vegetarian ways. 

... Ricky & I watched 12 episodes of Arrow this weekend.  I probably said, "OH MY LORD" at least 3 times every episode.

... I felt funny when I had no more Arrow's to watch. 

... I can't wait for FLASH to start this Fall!!!

... I may have been a little too excited to see the Making Frozen special on TV last night.

... I was even MORE excited to see the previews of Once Upon a Time #HookisHot

... Our Sydney girl is really having a hard time lately.  We're getting nervous for her & afraid time is ticking nearer for decisions we don't want to make. 

... We're so thankful to Jesus she's made it to September... when the vet said we'd be lucky to have her make it to April.  #vetsarestupid

... I took an extra day off work yesterday just because I have days piling up & it was something close to wonderful not having to put on makeup, & not brushing my hair all day long.

... I did so many rounds of laundry, I broke my machine.  Seriously. My fabric softner ring flew off & put a halt to my laundry madness.  I was THISCLOSE to being caught up.

... not really... I'll never get close to being current on laundry.

Anything you need to confess?

Linking up with the Fitness Blondie

 

Confession Time

I don't think I've confessed anything in awhile...

time for me to let it spill...

 

I CONFESS....

 

 

.... I posted my latest wedding preview & breathed a sigh of relief when the bride text me & said she loved them.  I always hold my breath. You never know how someone is going to react to their pictures.  Expectations can be tough to compete with.

.... I'm excited to see my photo clients this weekend.  It will be the 3rd time I've done their pictures.  I love meeting people in this line of work, to have them become friends & I get to enjoy catching up on their lives.

.... I'm still so sad about Robin Williams.  Sad he died... even sadder HOW he died.  The 20/20 special on Tuesday night just fueled the sad flames in my heart.

.... I really need a vacation.  Even if it meant just holing up in my home for a week.  That sounds wonderful actually.

.... I'm so tired - this pretty much sums me up today:

.... I love pulling the lint off of the cage of our fans.  I feel like its a game to see how long I can pull a piece without it breaking.

.... Our neighbors brought me a butt load of veggies over from their family garden.  Do you know how much all this would have cost me at a farmer's market?  I need to think of some cool thank you for them...

.... give me a salt shaker & sit back & watch me pop all those tomatoes in my mouth.

.... & then watch me get canker sores in my mouth from too much acid of tomatoes #stupid

.... I've been trying to keep track of how many fruits & veggies I eat every day instead of counting every calorie. I think I found the problem. One day this week, I literally had ZERO fruits or veggies.  I want to get 5 servings of each.  Some days I do good if I get one... of one or the other.  That's really sad.  Especially since I'm a vegetarian!

I need mega doses of veggie's happening in my life

.... I totally cried watching Extreme Makeover Tuesday when the lady ran a marathon.  Anytime anyone runs a marathon, I will cry when they cross the finish.  Guaranteed.

.... I'm trying PiYo again.  I'm not pushing myself where my bicep tendon is miserable again. I'll adjust.  But I did feel stronger doing it again.  Was holding full strong planks longer & even getting in tricep pushups more then ever. 

.... You'd think strong would mean I'm loosing weight.  Nope - same weight as ever.  How many months is this now?... geesh....

.... I hate cramps

..... I'm so sad that its dark when I leave for work now. I used to throw the Frisbee in the morning for Harvey before I left for work.  I still do but can't see if he catches it.

.... I almost want to just throw everything out of my house & start over again instead of just cleaning it & clearing out cabinets & drawers & basement rooms. #lazy

.... did I mention I hate cramps?

.... I tried walking in a local cemetery yesterday for a different view.  It is very small so it was like walking on a hamster wheel. Not a lot of space.  & then the groundskeepers came to start digging up a plot I assume for a funeral today.  I didn't want to stick around to see the ground being dug up.  So much for that.

.... While walking the cemetery, I saw a headstone of a member of our church that passed away years ago.  I saw the headstone had her husband's date on there as 2013. I didn't even know he passed away.  That was depressing.

.... I've decided its not good to walk in cemeteries.

.... I'm hoping 3 Aleve works on cramps... fast....

.... I can't believe we're half way through August.  I feel like I just switched over my closet.  Now I have to start thinking of changing it back?  let's go back to that comment about wanting to just throw everything out & starting fresh.

What do you need to confess today?

Confessions

 

I CONFESS:

.... I'm feeling like there is at least one part of my body that is injured that every work out possible hurts me

.... I had a slight freak out ... (crying spell)... about how busy my schedule is... all the way through November. Not even joking.

.... I can't do everything for everyone... I just don't know how to make everyone understand that.

.... I'm so happy Big Brother is back on.

.... I'm addicted to buying tumblers with straws.  #savetheplanet

Yes to ALLLLLLLLL!!!!!!

.... I haven't had a Peach Green Tea Lemonade in over a week.  What is wrong with this picture?

.... As much as I complain about being on the treadmill, I love it when its super hot/super cold.

.... I found a game show while walking on the treadmill last night. Put a game show on in front of me & I'll never get off. It was a crossword puzzle game too.  Even BETER!  I now need to schedule all my treadmill doings around 6:00-6:30

... I love any kind of word puzzles #nerd

... In my Nature Box, they surprised me with Yellow Curry peas.  I hate peas... yuck.  I've never had curry. But I thought I'd give it a try & oh my word. It was delish!  I'm assuming its the curry flavoring?  All I know is I found a new snack that I'm LOVIN'

.... its getting harder every month to pick 5 flavors in my Nature Box. I'm liking so many.

... we had a mouse in our kitchen... YIKES!  But my hubby called this morning & said he heard the trap go off when he left for work. DOUBLE YIKES!  I'd freak out of I heard it. I'm the one who is like, can't we save him & take him back to his family.  Hello Fievel.

.... I made Ricky NOT kill a mouse that was in our garage one time that had babies. We ended up using a broom & scooting him across a quarter acre of our land & into the field across the street.  Seriously!  But there were tiny mice babies hanging onto their momma's back.  It was so cute. How do you kill that???

 

What's something on your chest you need to confess?